I love Charles Barkley and his quotes, here are some gems.
- After Ernie asks if Charles has ever been to another country: "I've been to Alabama, that's like a third world country."
- During the Bruno's Memorial Classic Pro-Am: "Cat [Reddick, a female soccer player] was fantastic but when you lose to a woman, it means you suck at something. There are two times when you know you suck at sports -- when you can't beat the women and when you can't beat the smart kids." and later "Like a couple of years ago when I went to the Auburn-Georgia Tech game. We lost and I knew we were in trouble. We couldn't beat the smart guys."
- Ernie was talking about Ray Allen's complaints of Bruce Bowen.Charles: It's called defense, Ernie. I wouldn't know anything about it, personally. But I've heard it through the grapevine.
- "You can't compare preseason to regular season. Preseason is just a way to screw fans out of money."
- After Kenny Smith expressed surprised at Barkley's ability to pronounce Suns guard Leandro Barbosa's name, Charles replied: "I'm bilingual. I speak profanity and English."
- During the '92 Olympics: "Christian (Laettner) is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he's been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys."
- To Kenny: "Oh man! I can't stand the X-Files! I don't believe in Extra-Terrestrials... until I saw your girlfriend one night. She needs to phone home."
- After Ben Gordon made a floater in the Bulls vs. Cavs game...
Charles: That is one shot that every player should learn
Kenny: Yea I am teaching my daughter and son that shot.
Charles: I thought your daughter and son were the same person.
- Question: Any chance down the road of you succeeding David Stern as Commissioner of the NBA?
Barkley: I think the NBA has been very fortunate to have David Stern, and I'm not just blowing smoke. He is easily the best commissioner in sports today. But I am against working. I think working is overrated, so I have no intention right now, or at any time in the near future, to get a real job."
- At All Star Weekend, watching Voshon Leonard shoot threes:
Kenny: You can see he put on a couple pounds.
Chuck: A couple? That's an understatement. That's like calling the Titanic a small boating accident. We could wear the same underwear now!
- Talking about Karl Malone and his retirement on Jay Leno:
Jay Leno: "Karl's in great shape though!"
Charles Barkley: "Me too. Round is a shape!"
- "I hope whoever was in charge of the Halftime show is getting their resume ready" - Charles Barkley on the Country Music Halftime show @ The 2005 NBA All Star Game
- After TNT's Kenny Smith said that the Indiana Pacers' Jermaine O'Neal believes that he is the best forward in the NBA, Charles Barkley said, "Well, I think I am skinny, but that doesn't mean I am."
- Charles to Kenny: "If you think Tony Parker is better than Manu Ginobili, you need to stop drinking before you come in here."
- Said to Karl Malone: "Hey, have you totally given up on the Rogaine thing?"
- Charles Barkley: "I'm so sick of fat people."
Kenny Smith: "Why? You can't live with yourself?"
Barkley: "First of all, they killed Oreos. You know they can't make the Double-Stuff Oreos anymore because fat people can't keep their mouths shut. Now they're killing the McDonald's super-size. Can you believe that? Just because fat people are lazy and don't work out and can't keep they're mouths shut, they have to ruin it for everybody. They'll probably kill ice cream next! Is that my fault they can't stop eating? I'm so sick of these fat people suing these companies. Stop eating!"
- "You should be able to go and pick out one fan a game, and just beat the hell out of him." - Barkley, after watching footage of Denver fans throwing garbage on Latrell Sprewell.
- Latrell Sprewell: "You don't know anything about fashion, Charles."
Charles Barkley: "Both you and Craig Sager think that when you put on a famous designer's clothing, we are supposed to give you a pass on it."
Sprewell: "Hey, a lot of people like what I wear."
Barkley: "Is that Prada?"
Sprewell: "That's right."
Barkley: "What is that...the black J.C. Penney's?"
- On James Jones logging heavy minutes for the depleted Pacers: "I didn't know he was alive until this week."
- About Craig Sager wearing a reflective silver suit to the 2001 NBA All-Star game: "I don't have anything against black people, white people or any kind of people, but when you start letting pimps interview people, that's where I draw the line."
- On a TNT telecast a few years ago, Kenny Smith was going on and on about his two championship rings. He said that, in a show of appreciation for their efforts, he gave one ring to his father and the other to his brother because "they were the ones who helped me get them". Charles quipped, "You should have given them to Hakeem."
- While honoring Cotton Fitzsimmons, Charles tells a story about his Phoenix Suns days: "He had the roof down. I was like, 'It's like 122 degrees out here. Is it always this hot?' Cotton said, 'You’re going to hell one day, so this will help you get used to it.'"
- "You know it's going to hell when the best rapper out there is white and the best golfer is black."
- TNT's Charles Barkley, after watching a clip of San Antonio's David Robinson getting hit in the groin area by the Lakers' Robert Horry: "It's always funny when it happens to someone else."
- After Kenny Smith declares Yao Ming is the best player on the Houston Rockets: "Next thing you're gonna tell me is that Robert Horry and Rick Fox are the Lakers best players."
- "Half Man, Half Sit-Out-The-Season." -- Barkley, talking about Vince Carter.
- "He was like the guinea pig for Rogaine for black men." -- Charles Barkley, on Karl Malone.
- Charles Barkley, to TNT colleagues Ernie Johnson Jr. and Kenny Smith: "I'm the smartest person on this set. You two are just here for decorations."
- Charles to Ernie on Jeff Burton's car(racing in the daytona 500) having an ad for the NBA all star game on its front: "Y'all didn't have enough money to get Jeff Gordon?"
- On the All Star Game Starters: "That's why you don't let fans vote. Let them come to the game and clap."
- Charles and the gang interviewing Jermaine O'Neal: "Hey Jermaine, did you see Sam Cassell in
The Lord of the Rings?"
- At the 1990 game, the Eastern Conference All-Star team was surprised when Charles Barkley raised his hand in a pregame meeting and said he'd like to sketch out a play for the opening tipoff. "This is one we used when Moses [Malone] was in Philadelphia," said Barkley. So Barkley stood, took the chalk, went to the board and drew four players running back to defend their basket. "That sumbitch NEVER won a tip," Barkley said as everyone cracked up.
- On Kevin Eubanks being a vegetarian: "I don't trust people that don't eat meat. Hey Kevin, you know what the difference between me and you is? When I die, I'll die because I was eating bad food. When you die, they'll say 'wooo that Kevin, he as dead as Charles'"
- Danny Ainge called me. I have to apologize to him. Even though he's doing a lousy job, he doesn't want me to say that on TV. Danny Ainge is a good friend of mine. He's made some terrible trades, but he doesn't want me to say that on TV, so I apologize.
- After finding out a guy from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" had called him a Hottie: "I don't like being called a hottie. I want to be called a big, strong, sexy man. Now Rick Fox, he's pretty."
- Charles: "I just want to know one thing, what's up with your hair?"Steve Nash "That's strictly for the ladies, Charles."
- When talking about the dunk that Ricky Davis completely screwed up at the 2004 All-Star weekend's dunk contest: "The operation was a success, but the patient died."
- Cassell shooting over (Earl) Boykins is like shooting over a chair.
- Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.
- Barkley on Steve Nash winning the MVP: "Steve Nash is a bad white boy. People who think that he got the MVP because he is white, they're just are full of it. This boy is unbelievable. This man is phenomenal. He earned MVP and he deserved MVP."
It can go on and on… the man’s awesome.
