Star Wars review

I took in the third episode in the Star Wars trilogy last night, and well… here’s my view on it.

Hayden Christensen is back to reprise his role as Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader and thankfully he’s much much better in this installment. In number 2 you got the feeling that jedi wannabe Anakin was more of a rapist wannabe in how he leered at Natalie Portman, it seems someone has mentioned this to George Lucas and thankfully it’s stopped. In any case, Christensen now looks like a good choice for Anakin/Vader (did I just say that), he’s does a passable if occasionally annoying job in the role, and frankly he kinda looks like Mark Hamill in some ways, so the whole father thing works. I gotta say though… I don’t know about you folk but unless a movie is extraordinarily good and even if it is for that matter, a lot of times I tend to have one scene in particular that I really liked or for some reason, really sticks out. Sometimes this can be a good thing… example, Star Wars episode II… what I really remember (thankfully) is the Yoda fight scene, so a terrible movie still has a not so bad taste in my mouth from a game saving sorta scene. Episode III however, does not benefit from this, in fact the opposite is true. Episode II was a horrendous movie, Episode III is an alright movie… a 7.5/10 kinda movie, ok but nothing amazing… but to me it will forever be remembered by one scene…

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...” George Lucas, what the fuck were you thinking? We’ve gone through the whole movie, been not so bad, glaring plot holes aside, it’s been an enjoyable enough romp. And then at the end… to use a Lewis Black line… “you pull down your pants and shit on my face”. Let’s have a run through…

“You killed your wife”
“What? Grrrrrrrr” shit starts breaking and crunching up from the sheer force of his anger, ooooooh… Bam! Bam! Breaks the shakles on the wrists, oh he’s pissed now, gonna be some asses kicked…
Struggles to stand, takes two rather robotic steps… what the.. is this footage from 1934 Frankenstein?
“Nooooooooooooo” oh you’ve got to be kidding me…

I literally burst out laughing… laughing hard. For 2 minutes. Way to wreck a moment there George. Ya ya ya… I know, it’s his pain for losing his love after turning to the dark side for her, blah blah blah… I don’t care. There’s a million things he could have done, you already have his anger breakin’ shit in the room, why not go that way, why try for some ghey assed cry of despair? Darth Vader’s not a scary dude, he’s a wuss… a laughing stock… ohhh no, Lord Vader, what you gonna do? Wail? Pfft.