Don't call it a comeback!!

Yeah yeah… cliché title but fuck… it’s been months since I’ve posted on this waste of webspace. Yes I’m still bitter about the lost posts.

Well… what’s new…

Beily’s… Saskatoon’s hottest(?) new club for the elderly and desperate. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy it as much as the next single guy, and not just because the lovely Rhawney and the beautiful Camille work there but also because on the weekends it plays host to a veritable buffet of loveliness along with the expected none too loveliness. However… it has bar none the worst layout in the world to try and be a club. As Stacey’s friend put it… “it’s like partying in Kelsey’s” and it is. Tables are constantly in the way and you just can’t move… normally this is good as it means the place is busy and all, but it’s not the people that are in the way, it’s the furniture. Secondly, the music… oh good lord! Ok… Saturday I was there for an hour, in that time I heard not one, but TWO! AC/DC songs. Hang on… let’s give a collective “What the FUCK” on three here. Not only that but I heard Lynrd Skynrd or however you spell that, they suck at any rate and shouldn’t be played anywhere, much less a bar, I heard Guns n’ Roses, and a vast number of songs from the 70’s and 80’s. I have nothing against some good Ah-ha or anything here (incidentally that would be pronounced Oh-ho in Norway, making them even greater) but one after another after another… yeah, and they weren’t the “cool” 80’s song either, they was the ones that were crappy in the 80’s and have reached a new level of crappy now. And now… the people. While there are a number of very attractive, pretty cool ladies that attend… you can literally smell the desperation in the air. Let’s not kid ourselves people, the main cliental is 35+ single folk looking for their not future husband/wife, their right now husband/wife. In the end… I do like Beily’s for now, but barring something by way of getting tighter with Camille, my attendance will continue to diminish.

The Overdrive… or Tha OD if you prefer. Saskatoon’s worst bar with the possible exception of the Scuz… I don’t think anything can reach the level of crapfullness it has attained. Lets… ok, by way of comparison to Beily’s, since I’ve just gone on them, the ladies… well on a given night you’ll find women as attractive as Beily’s, only in far far fewer numbers, younger and more casually dressed. Guys are about as chauche but again younger and more casually (read: poorly) dressed going for the thugged out 50 cent/Eminem look. Yeah, that’s a good one to shoot for fellas, especially when you got no cash. The music is infinitely better, although when you’re comparing it to Beily’s music, pretty much everything kicks it’s ass. It’s still no damn good but its better. You realize I haven’t heard a Ludacris song in a bar in months… the man just put out an album too… fricken BEP and Usher coming out of my ass but a little variety? No. Anyway, OD plays bad music too… just not G n’ R, Skynrd bad. The layout is much better as the OD has no aspirations to be a restaurant so moving about is fine. As for the smell… well in Beily’s you smell the desperation and fear of growing old single, in the OD you smell… you smell dirty. It’s just not a nice place and nice people don’t go there. It’s fun with a crew, as any place is but don’t kid yourself, you’re going to hang with friends and that’s it. No Beily’s sexy dancing girl here. On that note I should mention that The OD has come up with some sort of device that literally pulls the worst people to the speakers to dance… ladies who exceed the maximum weight allowance on motorcycles and small sports cars dressed in roll hugging lycra get up to shake what they mama gave em… let me tell you, it shakes and shakes and jiggles and continues rocking with aftershocks long after the music has ended. And guys with literally no rhythm, none. Not like a black comedian talking about how white dudes can’t dance (which is mostly true), I mean the equivalent of a tone deaf guy trying to sing “With or without you” no rhythm. Diabolically bad dancing, complete with arm actions… ask Joe about the guy dancing to “Cotton Eyed Joe” (yeah I couldn’t believe it was played either, still better than “Sweet Home Alabama”) ahhh… I miss the Odeon days.