Lay... I lay in the long grass...

... so many people, so many peee-pulll blessed.

Well I went and did my book buying at the local used book shops, book prices are getting out of hand, and oh did I find me some gems (super sarcastic there). Ever read one of those books that partway through you're sitting there thinking, "Shit, I could do this". Those are the books I bought. I'm now reading BEAST by Peter Benchley and in doing so I've learned a great lesson for anyone writing a book. Don't constantly refer to other books you've written as though they're fricken amazing. In this case, Benchley - famous(?) for writing JAWS - writes about another huge ass sea creature that is terroizing the Bahamas, this time it's a giant squid. Only it's not just a giant squid, it's pure evil and bad intentions wrapped up in a gargantuan tentically thing. Right away you see the similarities to Jaws, what kills me is that he has his characters refer repeatedly to Jaws after they've decided it must be a giant squid, a conclusion they came to pretty fucking quick as well in my mind - can you say, "gotta throw a hook in here to keep 'em readin'... that's it, huge ass sea monster that's not supposed to exist!". Suddenly every semi-major character is referring to the feeling they got when Jaws came out when they were 5, how people wouldn't swim in lakes, how that stuff can only happen in a book - not "real" life. Pathetic Mr. Benchley. You are allowed one, ONE reference to a previous work in another book and if you've got any sense at all you do it in a tongue in cheek manner so the reader understands that you know you write well, and that other popular work wasn't no thang G as Snoop would say. Instead there's repeated reference to how awesome Jaws was, and I'm only about halfway through it, there could be more to come. All that aside I'm sorta kinda enjoying it, when I shut one eye and ignore the gaping plot holes and references to Jaws, it helps that I've seen the movie that had William Peterson (CSI older guy with the glasses) in the lead role, which incidently enough is similar enough to his CSI role that he does quite well, cept he could swear. Having the movie in my head helps to ignore all the Jaws talk, they had the sense to cut most of it out of the movie, leaving the one reference only.

So I came into work today to discover that one of the mouth breathers has tried to be witty. Oh the fool. I left a note about something that was going happen in the gym yesterday night and being the silly fellow I am, I used the word "gots" in my note, knowing full well that it's not a word but also knowing that any university student should pick up on the meaning and the silliness. Oh how wrong I was. I arrived at work this morning to see that someone has attempted to correct my grammar by circling the "gots" and writing "should be need". Wow. I truly work with pathetic individuals, all the more reason to take a new job. I think I know which dork it was... a while ago he left a note saying something to the effect of "Where are the timesheets" or some sort of question involving the word "where". Only rather than spelling it "where" it was "ware" as in "warehouse". Now this guy is doing grad studies in biblical theology, something that I'm thinkin' involves a fair bit of paper writing. Now I'm fairly easy-going on the mouth breathers, but this guy is an ass... and he wants to be a minister, a guy who can't say anything nice about someone when they aren't present - although a few profs have pointed out that he might be perfect for the church nowadays. Anyway, he had recently pissed me off so I did what any self respecting prick might do, circled the "ware" with a red marker and put a big SP beside it. I thought I erased it before he saw (I'm not that much of a prick) but perhaps not. Anyway, I've left a ridiculing note about sarcasm and missing obvious humour and answered another person's question using quite possibly the worst grammar ever, oh how'd I'd like to beat him down but not yet... not yet.